God speaks

Jason and I had quite a long spiritual conversation tonight. I had felt weak earlier today and we had a very important conversation about what do we believe and what we need to be careful of. As we are not at a point that we can say we believe in our heart any certain doctrine is the true way he was reminding me to be careful. We both are so different which is a huge reason I believe God has brought us together. 

Jason was warning to be careful of just being "spiritual" and talked of how we need sound doctrine or religion. These were the very things I felt God had been warning me against. I wanted to stop talking I felt we were on two seperate pages.  God encouraged me to continue and I was able to break through my need for peace and agreement. I tend to back off when others don't agree because I'm afraid that they will defile what I know God speaks to my heart. God has been challenging me to break through this habbit and calling me to fight when necessary and admit my own fault when necessary (especially if you knew me as a young kid you will know how hard it is for me to deal with being wrong, but I truly am learning). As I pushed through and made my points clear I saw that sometimes our termanology is what throughs us off. My definition of spiritual and religion are different than his. What it comes down to is we both believe in the bible but we need to look at doctrines and determine what we do and do not believe. This only makes our faith stronger. We need to know where we stand, otherwise we will be like the house on a foundation of sand. 

So we ended our discussion with prayer time. I don't remember Jason's exact words but he asked for God to speak to me. We had talked about spiritual gifts and how the church doesn't really teach those anymore. Well, after we hung up I thought of my spiritual gifts, the ones I have basically hid from for some time. It isn't something I would usually put on something like this but I am becoming more courageous for my Jesus and realizing it isn't something to be ashamed of. In my past I've seen evil spirits. There have been times I hid under a blanket and prayed until they went away [or at least they were no longer within my senses]. So getting back to after getting off the phone with Jason. I talked to God about my gifts I told him how I used to think he was going to literally throw me into spiritual warfare armed with only scripture and prayer. I had this fear for some time that I would be thrown into a room of evil spirits that I could actually see and I would have to call on Jesus for protection and for their defeat. I told him how I didn't think I could ever be ready for that. Then I thought what promises do I cling to? God will never give us more than we can handle. So I went to bed saying I could handle evil spirits with you by my side. I fell asleep. I woke up a little later fully alert. I honestly scanned the room with my eyes looking for evil spirits and asking God what do I need to do? I felt I was awake for a purpose. I prayed for the holy spirit to fill me so I would be ready. I could actually feel him fill me and fell asleep in peace. I woke up a little later and I was ready for battle. God called me to labor in prayer for someone I know evil spirits have been seeking. Then all of a sudden God spoke to me in his own special way. I can tell you this every time God speaks to me it is scary in the beginning but then I am filled with peace. This is how he spoke:

I could sense evil and I shut my eyes. I prayed for courage and opened my eyes. I cant even explain what I saw. The easy answer would be Hell. I was afraid but I remembered my weapon PRAYER.  I felt an invisible chain around my stomach and I felt like the devil had all power over me. I started saying you have no power over me. I was suspended on some kind of chain and I floated while demons did their best to assault me and make me think they ruled over me. I was turned over and looked into a fiery pit and I called even more on Jesus saying how he has conquered all and I was his. I knew that they had no power. At my weakest point I just clung to the FACT that Jesus died for me. I told them that he already conquered them. At that moment I could see their defeat and I yanked at the invisible chain around my waist and it was over. I asked God if it was really over I was actually almost ready and willing for more. 

So what do I have to say about this? I believe this was a vision from God. Not of what will come to pass as with the prophets of the Bible. Yet still a vision from God. This was God's way of showing me that I have nothing to fear. This was his way of setting me through the fire to make me pure. Was it real? Not in the sense that most would say what is real and fake. It was really God showing me that if I cling to him I can withstand anything. I mean I was literally sweating after this was over. It was his way of saying "spirits assault others, you know how to deal with it. Can you imagine how scared you would be if you didn't have me, if you didn't know what to do? Go set others free." It may not make any sense to you, but God speaks today in these times. I value quality time I'm a big one-on-one person. God knows that and he speaks to me with messages that are for me. Talk to God and expect him to talk back. You never know what could happen.

Some verses I just read after all this had happened:

James 4:7-10

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. REsist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."